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| Thursday, August 20, 2009
Devotional: A Kingly Prize Writer : Tan Wai Jia"Now they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable crown." -1 Cor 9:25b I love to run. There is something beautiful about running and finishing a race. When I put on a pair of running shoes and let the wind rush through my hair, my blood course through my veins and my thoughts vapourize into crystal clarity, the feeling is incredible, ethereal almost. When one runs through space and conquers distance, time seems to stand still and evaporate into eternity. And when one finally puts all that training out into the last lap to sprint past the finish line, the relief in knowing that one finished strong is exhilarating. We are all running the race of life, but do we know what prize we're running for? A few years ago, due a series of unfortunate events, I was diagnosed with anorexia. Running became an idol, a slavedriving form of bondage. It was a way to regain some sense of control over a life which was spinning out of control. My emaciated body told a story of spiritual starvation: I ran for all the wrong reasons. I ran to relieve inner pain, to find self-worth and to satisfy a fleshly pride within a hungry soul. Twelve kilos later, my body started to give up on me. My chest, knees, head and hips hurt every time I started to run. Every time I neared the end of a race, I could no longer finish strong. Do we sometimes run the race of life for the wrong reasons too? Do we run the rat-race seeking to fulfill our sense of self-worth? Do we try to outrun others for the sake of pride? Do we run in such a way to build an image of spiritual fitness in the eyes of the world? Pride, self-glory and vanity. They are but perishable crowns, bestowed unto us by our own pagan gods- our very selves. In Grecian sports, the winner of a race would be worshipped as a demi-god, and be honoured with an olive crown made by man. The laurel was honored above all things, yet, it was only but temporal. Because anorexia is merely a physical manifestation of deep emotional and spiritual wounds, recovery meant months of therapy. It meant laying running down at His throne. It meant learning how to exercise temperance instead of abusing an over-trained body. It meant allowing Him to take away the many laurels of pride I had given myself. Little did I know that when God takes away our half-withered olive laurels, it is because He has a kingly crown to give us, one of substance and permanence. When God put a stop to my participating in sporting races, I was crushed. For in doing so, He stripped me of pride, purged me of the many sins I hid in my life, and put me to shame without a crown of my own to show for. But by doing so, He birthed within me a deep desire to run the race His way, to desire His prize. For just as how olive laurels and all things fleshly will rot and pass away, all our crowns gained from a spirit of self-striving and self-worship will eventually perish. "Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it. And everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable crown." -1 Cor 9: 24-25, NKJV Over many months as my body slowly recovered, my regained weight reflected the inner spiritual nourishment He had filled me with along the way. As I picked up running again, He taught me how to run not for pride nor vanity but with temperance. He taught me to trust and surrender my body to Him, our Creator. He birthed within me a deep sense of gratitude for His grace and gifts to us, and to worship His creativity. Two weeks ago, I completed my first mini-triathlon. I cried at the end. For as the tears ran down my cheeks, I sensed His great love and delight. He had bestowed an imperishable kingly crown unto me, which reflected His faithfulness, glory and pleasure at how I had trained for and run the race- His way. I learnt, that when we run to be first, we will surely win a laurel, one which will eventually wither and fade. But when we run to put Him first, we will surely receive a crown infinitely more lasting and precious. So let us run the race of life to obtain not perishable, but imperishable crowns. Let us cast our self-made idols and every hindrance at His feet, so we can run swiftly and beautifully till the very end, without excess baggage. Let us live with eternity in mind. For when we do, how surprised will we be at the end, to rejoice in having won the only prize worth winning. "Therefore I run thus: not with uncertainty. Thus I fight: not as one who beats the air. But I discipline my body and being it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified." - 1 Cor 9:26-27
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