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| Sunday, August 05, 2007
Response to The Bait of Satan by John Bevere > Forgiveness: You Don't Give, You Don't Get Writer : Chu QiaoThe Bait of Satan was first introduced to me by a close friend and brother-in-Christ who heard about my prolonged struggle with my lack of forgiveness towards a person who has deeply offended me. Amongst other losses, the offense took away many of the essential joys and blessings special to a child of God. In the whole period of being mired in this sin, I lost the fellowship of God, the ability and confidence of prayer, the ability to partake of the Lord's Supper or recite the Lord's Prayer. It was in this condition that I approached the book. Within a week of reading the book, I was so convicted by the Holy Spirit that I committed the matter into God's hands and asked Him to help me forgive-a feat which up to this point, I have considered absolutely impossible. But nothing is impossible with our God. A few days later, I dreamt about the person and in spite of myself, I heard myself utter the words in my dream, "I forgive you as a Christian." In that moment, I suddenly had the sense of a matter finally being settled between God and I, and the peace that passes all understanding came to me. What I did not expect was how this was only the beginning of the healing process. The next thing that happened astounded me even more. The person concerned, who has cut off all contact up to this point, suddenly wrote to me. In his email, he admitted his wrong and said he was sorry. Subsequently over the next week, I was led by God to be able to truly pray for the person's restoration, and eventually God showed me my role in the entire incident. I was led to a point where my spirit was receptive and honest enough to seek the forgiveness of that person as well. And I did. Everything that has happened up to this point was simply miraculous to me. One has to bear in mind the fact that up to the point before I read the book, I was certain that I could not forgive this wrong done to me even if the person were to contract 4th stage cancer and was asking for my forgiveness upon his dying bed. I thought that was it; that was all God was going to teach and show me regarding forgiveness in this matter. Instead He called to remembrance something totally unexpected. He made me remember that once upon a time, I have made a pact to bury one half of myself-the part that was damaged-underground. In order that the present "me" can survive and prosper, the other "me" who continued to hurt had to go. Suddenly I realized that simply because one cannot bury the hatchet, one eventually end up burying oneself. Eventually, one forgets oneself. Perhaps it became easier to part, never to meet up again. And so I lost an important part of myself, the one who loves people, trust people and sees the best in them. Unable to forgive, I incurred loss upon loss. When God led me to remember and recover that part of myself again, I learnt a very personal and important lesson: when God asks us to forgive others, it is not for the other person's sake. More than anything, it is for our very own sake. This is a fact that has so often escaped us, especially when we are deeply mired in the depths of un-forgiveness and cannot see a way out. What has previously only existed as a mental assent to an intellectual and theological fact; became deeply personal when I experienced the sense of immense release and relief. When we show mercy and forgive others, the first person we have released and forgiven are ourselves. You can email Chu Qiao at rhapsody@pacific.net.sg. Read the review of The bait of Satan by John Bevere here.
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